Give or Take

Ever been in that position where an opportunity is given and then taken away just as quickly?

You are surprised to be included, puffing up with pride at the thought of the involvement you will have in this project, perhaps even as the lead....and what happens?  The opportunity dissolves right before your eyes for any multitude of reasons - lack of funding, change in priorities, a more seasoned employee is on the team.

What do you do?

...find a way to duplicate the opportunity

....run through it as if you were still in motion so that you can test out your planning and organizational skills

...discuss and see if it can be modified to a smaller version or a test/pilot - this will show your initiative along with your flexibility

...always say thank you for the opportunity and consideration - both mean a lot.

No Thank You

Working with a group of people or even one other single person, leaves you with the opportunity to say 'Thank You' at the end of the day, or project/assignment or even for a simple discussion.
The issue is that not many people realize the importance of 'Thank You'.

A friend started at a new job in the last month.  Requested to join the company because of his skill at turning businesses around, he was excited to get started.  Implementing small changes after a period of overview and understanding, he started to host daily meetings with the entire team.  The meeting was short, always started off with something that was positive, gave good information about what was in progress and coming up in the future and always ended with 'Thanks for what you are doing for XXXX in the community.  Work safe.'  He was taken aback when, after the second or third daily meeting a group approached him and said "we have never been thanked before, thank you for making our work worthwhile".  Kind of profound.  Thought I would share.

Think about how you end your day or your time with someone.  How do you say Thank You!?

The Lightbulb

When asked why you do what you do, what do you say?
...because  I make good money?
....because I get weekends off?
....because I set my own hours?
Usually not.  Usually there is something else that drives us.  Something like...
..passion for the subject-matter
....service of others
...doing good (not just well)
...enjoyment of the journey
...solving the puzzle
And knowing this, then finding this daily occupation, our life's work is really what is fulfilling.
For me, I call this 'the lightbulb'.  I love to see the 'click' in my clients.  The moment when they shift to new thoughts and ideas, the moment they see what is possible, no longer impossible.  The actions they develop after this click are rewarding for them and for me.  It is the next step on their journey.
So what is your 'lightbulb'?  As a leader, you have one, you simply need to recognize it, own it and live it.
It may mean changes in what you do or how you do it. It may be uncomfortable recognizing it...and that is OK, that is how we grow.
What do you do when you work for or with someone who does not have a lightbulb? (stop laughing, I don't mean they are dim-witted, more not following their passion)
....ask them if they are happy?
....ask them what they would do if they could do anything in the world?
...ask them their next step in changing their future?  After all, why live so unhappily.

A Lot, Too Late

Leaders are born with ears.  Most of them, anyway.  And you would think that they would use them for good instead of evil.  Well, not necessarily evil - just to do nothing.

Here is the story.....it's performance appraisal time.  A self-appraisal is requested by all team leaders to be submitted before the actual performance appraisal is conducted.  This is standard operating procedure in many organizations.  This self-appraisal helps individuals see their accomplishments and their performance gaps making it much easier on the manager delivering the actual appraisal - let's face it - we are usually harder on ourselves than our bosses are in these terms.

So the self- appraisal is handed in.  On the day of the appraisal, this leader asks his team member to attend the meeting.  And the meeting ensues...in this way...the leader takes out the self-appraisal and writes checkmarks where he agrees and 'x's' where he does not.  Little discussion, little dialogue, no inkling of what the employee can do to improve for next year.

But there's more...

The following year, the leader has moved on to a different position.  A new manager is in place and it is appraisal time.  She asks that the self-appraisal be brought to the appraisal meeting....not to be reviewed by her before.  She actually does not have an appraisal written for the meeting but states that there is no increase this year because targets have not been met.  It's discretionary, she says!

What do you do?  Ask the obvious question, what is this based on as you are a new manager and no objectives were in place to measure against anyway?  The answer is - take it up with the last manager, that is the answer they provided for me to give you.

Whoa!  All kinds of issues.  Where to begin.  This employee asked for clarification from senior leaders - none ever came.  Instead what came was a barrage of visitors to the area to see if things were up to snuff.  Needless to say, there are still no specific objectives except for 'reach the goals'.

Got a story like this one?  Share here!

The Sound of Leadership

Do you have a tone?

Does your leader have a tone?
Is there a voice that your mom or dad used to use that would stop you in your tracks?
That's the one I am talking about.
The voice that is condescending, belittling or simply full of annoyance.

How do you handle the leader with this voice?

Well, people are simply blessed with the voices they have been given. They are influenced by their environment - where they grew up, the language and tone used in their homes, their experiences with others....what works or doesn't. So it is not really the voice, but more of the TONE and inflection.

Approaching the person with the 'voice' is not as easy as it seems. Although, the approach is a simple one - 'hey, this is how you said what you said', or 'you said this, this is how I heard it, is that really what you meant?' Let them know ...it's not easy from either end of the conversation but it will set ground rules for how you like to get your communication and you may be pointing out something that needs to be worked on by that individual...and they never knew it because of the fear they have mongered due to their tone.

Here is an exercise....listen to your tone. I have had mine pointed out to me before and while it is not fun, it is a new awareness that I now have that makes how I communicate different now than in the past.

Once you pay attention to your tone, you will automatically change the tone of the other person.

Control Freak

Have you met one of these?  Or are you one of these?

The Control Freak

Everything has to be done your way.

Everyone has to act the way you want them to act.

Everyone needs to follow your rules, even though sometimes they do not apply to you.

You manipulate with faces, feeling, outbursts, inattention even harsh words - you bully.

You want what you want and there is no changing your mind because you are right and there is no room for other opinions or ideas.

OK.

This is not you...but it is someone you work with/for or with whom you have a relationship.

Tough nut to crack.

What do you do?  Let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you will not change your beliefs simply because they want you to.  You will not put their bullying tactics, but continue to work (or live your life) in accordance with what works for you.  If that requires less time or interaction with them, then that is how it will be.



The Big Rollback

The big rollback...not really poor leadership, but could have been.

Morale is at an all time low I am told, due to the economy. This leader is beside themselves trying to figure out how to fix it. They want surveys, 360degree surveys, benchmarks for the industry, roundtable discussions with other industry leaders to see if they are experiencing the same thing. It's sheer madness he says, they cannot get out of the funk.


So, here comes the coach. My first question is....what is your mood? What is your attitude? Are you perpetuating the ' poor me' or are you pushing past it and asking...why not me? What can I do about it? What can I change?

The leader paused for a moment...well, longer than a moment, for which I give him great credit....and then he said..no one has ever asked me that before. No one has challenged me to change my perspective instead of finding excuses for the perspective I have.

I could not tell at the moment if he was happy or grateful for the challenge or not. Time will tell if he picks it up and moves forward with it. By the end of our session he was willing to consider that he could be the game changer by moving forward instead of looking for excuses for everyone.

What could have turned into a complete business debacle ( a poor leadership adventure spiralling out of control) turned into a good coaching session, where my client learned a skill to take back to his team.

Changing perspectives is not easy, sometimes you need the prompt.